Yeah, so that every day thing didn’t really work out for me.

I’m not sure what I was thinking when I set a goal of daily posting. Possibly the only thing I do daily is brush my teeth. At this point I’ll be lucky if I can handle sharing something weekly with my mythical audience.

Part of the problem is my lack of discipline and structure; I am just not really good at routine. I can barely get up each morning to make sure my high schooler gets to the bus on time (in my defense, the bus comes friggin’ early!), let alone figure out how I’m going to eat breakfast, go for a walk, take care of the things on my to-do list. And I’m lucky enough to not have a full-time gig that eats up my time.

Although I do have a teenager who still requires a decent amount of care and maintenance. Primarily of the “ubering” sort. Until the driver’s license comes (but that’s a topic for another day).

Another big issue is my inability to focus. I’m quite easily distracted. So many thoughts bop around in my giant head, but actually sitting down and putting them into writing is painful. It’s easier to just let them swirl around out in the ether and… “Wait, what day do those Lumineers tickets go on sale?” “What’s the admissions rate for Georgetown?” “Is it going to rain today, because I really should mow the lawn?” All of those answers are just a Google search away. Hence my love/hate relationship with my electronics.

A different matter all together is my lack of confidence in my writing for public consumption. I was a statistics major not an English major for crying out loud. I think I took one formal writing class in college – way back in freshman year. All I remember from high school English is diagramming sentences and reading Beowolf. My grown-up writing has been limited to some powerpoint presentations back in the 90’s, and more recently some persuasive emails and a few successful grant requests. I’m sure I’m really mangling all sorts of proper elements of writing and that makes me a bit nervous.

Oh yeah, and that whole perfectionist version of procrastination fits in there somewhere. Overthinking, internal criticism, the sudden urge to clean out the refrigerator. You know the deal.

Plus, I’m not really sure what I’m doing. I’ve never really done this before. I’m still figuring out the technology piece. For all of the power of digital, I still tend to be a bit analog.

So if I were to run a regression analysis on why you are not seeing much output from me, those variables would probably soak up a good amount of the variation.

“And I’m giving you a longing look…
Everyday I write the book.
Don’t tell me you don’t know the difference
Between a lover and a fighter.
With my pen and my electric typewriter
Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal
I’d still own the film rights and be working on the sequel“

p.s. Happy Anniversary to my husband of a quarter century!!!